Pity Party

I am having a pity party. Everyone is invited! You just have to fulfill a couple of requirements. The first of course is that you have to be feeling extremely sorry for yourself. I mean not just a little sad, really sorry for yourself. You have to be thinking you are the worst mother in the world, and everyone in the world knows it. You also have to be thinking that you have screwed up your kids for ever and ever and they will never have a normal happy life, ever, ever.

Doubting every decision you have ever made in relation to your children would also be a good thing. Remembering every mistake you made, every time you ever yelled, every time you did not yell, every time you looked at them wrong! These all add to the party quite well. Heck throw in the fact that you had a lousy birth with them and dropped them a few times helps also.

Of course you have to look at your life and think of everything you would of should of could of done differently is ideal for a pity party. There are so many things you did bassackwards and that for sure added to the fact that you have screwed up their lives so well.

I love that line in "Fun With Dick and Jane" by the way when they are looking at having to lose their house and she says," then we would have to move and he would lose all of his friends and he would grow up a social misfit with no friends and nothing to show for his whole life". When we watch that movie all my kids laugh and say that is so mom!

The things that would spoil my pity party? Well of course looking at all these really cool people that we have raised the best we could and seeing that, man are they cool people. Like even if they were not my kids I would love hanging out with them. I mean I would even call them on the phone and ask them to go to lunch or something, and I don't do that very often.

In reflecting on my pitiful mood today I realized that in reality I was just feeling "guilty". Man I hate that word! It is a loaded word and I have to write things like the above to realize that I really have no reason to feel guilty. Part of the price of being a Mormon is the guilt train that we all tend to ride, quite often actually.

Can you just imagine we are supposed to multiply and replenish the earth, keep the word of wisdom, be temple worthy and prepare the kids for this, teach our daughters to be wonderful homemakers like us, get our sons to serve two year missions, never have your kids get arrested or in trouble etc. etc. etc.....

As you can see lots of room for guilt on that plate. I have gotten into the habit of taking the whole church tradition out of my feelings about people in general. In other words I ask myself," if I was not measuring this person against the church how would I feel about them?" I think it is sad that I have to do this to set aside my judging, but I do. I was raised that way, it is in my DNA.

The really bad part is I don't just judge others harshly, I also judge myself this way. That, my friends would explain why I have to have pity parties. So the party is over, done with and I am on my way to make something to eat. I made a cake earlier that I dropped getting out and broke my favorite brownie pan and just turned and walked out of the kitchen. Just added to the party really well as refreshments!

Have a great Mothers Day and try to focus on the positives, just like I did :)

Christmas Ideas

When you talk to baby you may be surprised when she starts telling you that her sister is a pig, or that her brother is a dragon, or her and her dad are goats. The deal is she knows everyone in the family (and that is a lot of people) Chinese zodiac signs. We have a great book about it and she has memorized everyone's signs. We even bought Dad a shadow box for Christmas last year with all the animals in it.

I have been wanting a "mothers braclett". Because I do massage I do not wear rings too much, because I lose them every time that I take them off. So therefore I decided a charm braclett as a mothers braclett. The deal is I want all the Chinese zodiac animals for my kids on it instead of the stones. The reason I don't want stones is that I have three kids born in Jan. that would be three red stones. One born in July, another red stone, and two born in Oct. In other words not a whole lot of variety on the whole stone thing.

When I was doing some searching for Christmas gifts I found the perfect gift for me :) I found Chinese zodiac bracletts at John Hardy, a jewelery sight. They have some really cute baby bracletts also with the Chinese zodiac signs on them. I may just have to buy baby one of the cute little baby goat bracletts, she would love it!

BROWN AND STRINGY

There is a "Peanuts" episode where someone calls Snoopy "fuzzy face". He goes around all day trying to figure out why someone would call him that and what they meant. I know I should not, but I am doing the same thing.

Talking to my Mother, who can throw around terms faster than you can turn your head. She is telling me that she showed my pics from Facebook to my aunt. She said my aunt did not believe it was me. Just could not believe that was Robbie.

My mother responded in classic mom style, "she has just never seen you looking so brown and stringy". Now I am going around shaking my head and figure out what someone means when they call you "brown and stringy". Somehow I don't think it is a good thing, and I should just not even try and figure out what it means because it is not good, of that much I am sure.

BROTHERS

This is just a shout out to my younger bro. I have not experienced divorce, but want to offer him my support and love at this time in his life. It is weird that I still turn into the protective big sister when something happens to my bros.

He is awesome and I know he is tough and will handle the next few months like a trooper. After seeing him in a bike race you would see what I mean about tough.

This guy is so cool. He put himself through med school 10 years ago and is just the best pediatrition in all of Texas. In the meantime he was also an awesome bike racer and now he has graduated into car racer.

Not to mention he is just a darn nice guy and is very generous. Thanks to him and his impecible taste in clothes all his younger and one older brother dress darn nice. When we all get together they all joke that they look like they walked out of his closet! He's also just a blast to hang out with and keeps us all crackin up with his stories.

Families are great and I am sure thankful for 7 brothers and 1 sister that support and hang in there with me through my trials. I know when I need it they are always there for me. One of my brothers is a pilot and last week gave up a buddy pass so my hubby could go to a conference he really wanted to go to in LA. But he did not stop there, he put him up at his house when he did not catch his flight not only going but coming back. It was so cool of him.

Last May my pilot bro donated another pass so that I could attend the graduation of another bro from med school. The above bro hooded him and it was so cool to be there with my bros. We were all there except one younger and my sister.

There are lots of hats to wear daughter, sister, wife, mother, and grandma. I would have to say that sister is one of the best and I am very thankful to be one!