Parenting Confidence

Have you ever had anything happen to you that knocked you onto your knees? That took your breath away, changed your life and made you question any and everything you ever believed to be true? And the worst part of this thing is that it made you question yourself or your own abilities?

It has been 11 years since I began having the above experiences and repeating them periodically. When I had a whole house full of little ones I felt pretty darn sure of myself and my parenting abilities. When my oldest turned 18 he went down on his birthday and enlisted for six years in the Airforce!

We were on a family vacation in Idaho and he told me this over the phone. Wham, blow numero uno! I could not believe that this, my firstborn perfect child was going against everything we had ever taught him and going into the Airforce.

Once we got over the shock we adjusted and even got excited for him and the growth he could experience in the military. We were hopeful that he would take advantage of the educational opportunities and the other benefits of the military. His dad had done 8 years and we had used the housing as well as educational benefits.

One year later he was given a general discharge under honorable conditions. Our son came home an alcoholic as well as a drug addict. He did not exactly take advantage of the things we had hoped he would when he went in. And needlesss to say at this point hubby and I were beating ourselves up pretty darn good.

For 10 years we watched this son struggle in his life. We watched him marry and have three daughters, and take them down his road with him Finally three years ago he sobered up. After 10 years he quit drinking and has been sober for two and a half years.

You know what the funny part is? As parents we don't take an ounce of credit for his ability to make this changes in his life. Why is it that we only beat ourselves up when they make mistakes, and take none of the credit when they are able to have the strength to clean up their lives? Human nature I would guess.

Merry Christmas

Here is a wish for a very Merry Christmas to all of my friends and family, and followers here on Hotmomsrus. We have been just partying like crazy and are about ready to all die from sugar overdoses or just plain exhaustion. But it has been a very merry Christmas season for us and I believe as Micah so aptly expressed it is not about the presents. He made the comment that sitting in jail, on Christmas he does not think or even remember any presents he ever received, just all the good times with his family. I would agree with him on this point!

As a side note, I lost a follower! That may not sound like a big deal, but hey I don't have very many! I am just trying to decide if I offended them talking about the Savior, or I offended them by saying that there are no guarantees in life. At any rate I think it all goes back to the comment left on my last post JUDGMENT!

Judgment is a funny thing. I have to make a very honest confession, I was very judgmental in my younger years. Yup, I was convinced I knew it all. I knew that no one in the world should have a T.V. in their home, I knew that everyone should homeschool their children, I knew everyone should have a temple recommend, I knew no one should allow their children do this and that. Yeah maybe even opinionated would be a better word.

But the sad truth is life has dealt me a hand that I cannot deny. I cannot look at anyone else on their path and say what in the heck is good, bad or ugly for them! I am like a recovering alcoholic, one day at a time, one problem at a time. I believe their are black and white rules called commandments. Any further than that I would say question it and check it out.

My big question of the day is, Why am I living a R rated life when I can't even watch R rated movies? I deal with jail, prison, drugs, alcohol, alcoholism, wild parties, piercings, tatoos, oh the list just goes on and on. And you know what? I still love these R rated kids of mine like the day they were born! I can surely see why the Savior died for us. He loved us, even in our sins and mistakes. Because you know what? He knew they were just that "mistakes". And he never gave up on us and he continues to love and extend that love to us every day and every minute.

That is why I celebrate Christmas and do it with all my crazy family!

LAS VEGAS SON

I am embarrassed to admit this is the closest thing I have to a picture of my son in Las Vegas! We went and spent three weeks with them in October, and I ended up with about one hundred pictures of his daughters, one of his wife, and not one of him. I couldn't believe that when I came home and went through my pictures. It is not because he is not super guapo either.
Today I figured I would take an oppurtinity to brag about him a little bit. He is one awesome kid and I like to talk about my kids anyway. He called us last night to tell us about another promotion at work.
Just a little history on that one. When we were there in Oct. he had just been promoted to assistant manage, and in the three week period we were there he was promoted to manager, and had his own store by the time we left.
With his new promotion he now makes as much as hubby did after 25 years of working at the PO! We are so excited and proud of him that I am glad I have this blog just to brag about him. You may think big deal, lots of guys by the age 28 have accomplished that and more.
Well to digress a little bit I would like to tell a little about his story. On his 18th birthday he surprised all of us by enlisting in the Air Force for six years. After only six months in he was an alcoholic and has struggled with that for 10 years. One and a half years ago, the day before his wife was signing the papers for a divorce and leaving him with his three daughters, he attended his first AA meeting.
That 12 step program saved his marriage, his family and most likely his life. It is never easy for him, but he keeps sober and has even paid off all their debts, kept his job and even climbed the corporate ladder, all in only 18 months of being sober!
It is awesome to just stand back and watch him finally be the man I knew he was. He is just the coolest guy and really a great dad that we are really proud of.
He is a real testimony to us that you never give up on your kids and prayer is the most powerful tool we have as parents!