Parenting Confidence

Have you ever had anything happen to you that knocked you onto your knees? That took your breath away, changed your life and made you question any and everything you ever believed to be true? And the worst part of this thing is that it made you question yourself or your own abilities?

It has been 11 years since I began having the above experiences and repeating them periodically. When I had a whole house full of little ones I felt pretty darn sure of myself and my parenting abilities. When my oldest turned 18 he went down on his birthday and enlisted for six years in the Airforce!

We were on a family vacation in Idaho and he told me this over the phone. Wham, blow numero uno! I could not believe that this, my firstborn perfect child was going against everything we had ever taught him and going into the Airforce.

Once we got over the shock we adjusted and even got excited for him and the growth he could experience in the military. We were hopeful that he would take advantage of the educational opportunities and the other benefits of the military. His dad had done 8 years and we had used the housing as well as educational benefits.

One year later he was given a general discharge under honorable conditions. Our son came home an alcoholic as well as a drug addict. He did not exactly take advantage of the things we had hoped he would when he went in. And needlesss to say at this point hubby and I were beating ourselves up pretty darn good.

For 10 years we watched this son struggle in his life. We watched him marry and have three daughters, and take them down his road with him Finally three years ago he sobered up. After 10 years he quit drinking and has been sober for two and a half years.

You know what the funny part is? As parents we don't take an ounce of credit for his ability to make this changes in his life. Why is it that we only beat ourselves up when they make mistakes, and take none of the credit when they are able to have the strength to clean up their lives? Human nature I would guess.

BABIES

My baby with her baby! My my how quickly they grow up, or think they are grown up should I say! Seems like just yesterday I was taking her to school at the Montesorri school and waiting in the long line of parents to pick her up. I just got back from walking my other baby to school and was contrasting the two babies.

The line waiting to drop off at the Montessori school were a bunch of Volvos, SUV's, and every other nice car you can think of. Fast forward to dropping off baby baby. All of us are walking quickly to make it the one half or one quarter mile to school in time. Of course there are a few scooter moms and beater car moms, but for the most part we are all walking moms.

All the moms stand outside the gate until that baby is safely inside the classroom, even though the school used to be a military barracks and they can't get out at all! Before the day when Costa Rica still had a military it was one of their posts. When Costa Rica did away with their military they turned all the military buildings into schools. There are a lot of schools.

It kind of reminds me of the bumper sticker about spending all the money the U.S spends on bombs and war on schools. Now that would be a novel thought and one that would surely be a true change for the Obama band.

But back to babies and school. My big baby was in the fourth grade before she went to school. We had been homeschooling and were all about done with it. So she went to fourth grade and Micah went to seventh, at the Montessori middle school. Looking back I probably would have put Micah in sooner and baby in later. He was very ready for all the kids, and challenges of school, she was not.

Of course when we found out the next year, in her fifth grade that she could not see at all out of her right eye it explained a lot of things. Like why she hated reading and playing ball! She still hates those things and still can't see out of her right eye, but she moves at her own speed with her school work and by the time she is 25 should be done with high school!

You know here in Costa Rica there is no shame in that. In Latin America in general being held back is no big deal. You just keep trying until you get it and when you do you are done. If you get to be an adult in the meantime you just attend the evening classes, no shame at all. I guess she is getting a bit Tica after all. Maybe she will take off when her baby sister catches up with her :)