Father's Day for me is a lot like Missionary Farewells, they suck. My father died when I was six, and as a child I can remember actually being very uncomfortable on Fathers day. My friends would all tip toe around the subject thinking they could not talk about dads around me. If someone did not know me and asked about my dad I would feel like I had to apologize. I hated telling people that my dad had died. For some reason that was very difficult for me. Maybe because as a child you just want to fit in and since I had a name like Robbie Robbins and already stood out enough, it was just one more thing to make me "different".
Now of course I don't feel the embarrassment, just sad. I never really got to know my dad. I have blips of memories and fun times. I remember one day my brother 15 months older than me and I were taking a shower. We were in the stall and decided that it would be really cool to plug up the drain and have a swimming pool. We could not figure out why the water would not get any higher than the shower door. That is until our mom came in the bathroom and shrieked. I guess there was lots of water. We both got the wooden spoon for that one, except it broke on big brothers butt!
I can remember him horsing around with us quite a bit. As a child he got the name "Skin" because he was so skinny and he loved to tease. After he died and we would go to Texas to visit family all I had to do was smile and they knew who my dad was! I got his blue eyes as well as his huge gummy smile. Coming from a family of 10 kids he was always fun to be around and a hoot!
He was 32 when he died, and had four kids, and a very young wife.
This fathers day, like many past I will be reading his letters to his sisters. It is all we have that he ever wrote and they actually mention me. From this I have learned the value of journals. If my dad had kept a journal I would so love to read his words. Invaluable!